Mutual lie
by StarlightBreaker
Summary: Kazuki loved Soushi more than anything, but he wouldn't dare say it, and Soushi too felt the same way


Kazuki had been, not so subtly, avoiding Soushi. They had not fought, if anything they were on better terms now than ever before.

That tormented Kazuki, but at the sametime, he loved it. Being around Soushi, being able to feel Soushi, being able to speak with Soushi. Kazuki truly loved being able to do those things he hadn't been able to when he was gone.

However Soushi did not belong to him. Any moment he touched him was fleeting, how close together they were was limited. There were bounds he couldn't and wouldn't cross.

Kazuki breathed in the sea air. He needed time away from Soushi. As much as he loved him, it was suffocating. Being around him and being unable to say what he wanted, do what he wanted; it was killing him.

That was why he ran away to the beach whenever he felt too stressed. Even though he usually used Soushi as a stress reliever. At times Soushi was the cause of stress.

However when he was on the beach listening to the waves and the island birds, he didn't have to think about anything.

"Kazuki."

Kazuki froze at the familiar voice calling his name, and looked back and saw Soushi approaching him. Kazuki wanted to scream. He couldn't get away from him. Even his one sanctuary has been invaded by the man. "Soushi..."

Soushi walked up to him. He got too close, their shoulders were barely inches apart. Kazuki wondered if his awkwardness was partially responsible for him not knowing what personal space was. Kazuki usually wouldn't mind, but today was different. "I was looking for you."

"Oh, Did I do something? Or maybe Mizoguchi-san wanted me?" Kazuki heard Soushi chuckle, he loved that sound, light and low. Kazuki wanted to hug him, Soushi would probably let him, but then, he might question it if it went longer than a minute.

"You missed your check up Kazuki. Please think about yourself." Ah, he's worried, just like he always is, worrying over him and stressing over his health. Kazuki really hoped he would be okay when he reached his limit.

Kazuki laughed. This was not fair. He didn't want to deal with this. Soushi shouldn't be allowed to do this. "I'm fine," he said, then Soushi grabbed his shoulder.

"Kazuki, I'm serious."

Kazuki smiled at him. Soushi's hands were warm. it made him want a hug. Kazuki knocked his hand off his shoulder, and backed away until his ankles were in the water. He chuckled at Soushi's annoyed expression.

"Kazuki come back here."

Kazuki kept laughing. This is what he deserved. Frustration and annoyance that no matter how hard you tried you can't have what isn't yours. He was being spiteful. Still Soushi looked rather charming when he was annoyed

Kazuki walked back more and continued laughing. Even as he fell backwards and splashed into the water. Kazuki blinked and Soushi raced over to him. "Are you okay Kazuki!?"

Kazuki looked down at himself, soaking wet. Sitting in cold sea water. Then he looked up at Soushi. Everything above his ankles dry and clean.

He didn't say anything as he grabbed Soushi's hand and pulled him down into the water. Soushi fell directly ontop of him. Kazuki did not regret his actions, even as his head briefly dunked under the water.

When Kazuki was finally able to breathe again, he laughed at Soushi's angry glare. Soushi didn't seem to be amused, but Kazuki couldn't stop himself from laughing. Soushi was wet and angry, and yet really pretty

"This is hardly something to laugh about." Soushi chastised. Expecting Kazuki's laughter to only increase in volume, but instead Kazuki stopped laughing and simply stared at him. "Kazuki?"

Soushi was so close, he could feel his breath. It would be so easy to simply pull him into a kiss, but then, Soushi might get mad at him, and Kazuki didn't want that. He didn't want to ruin their friendship. "I need time alone."

Soushi looked at him empathetically. "I get that Kazuki but- you need to go to your appointments."

Kazuki didn't want to, it wasn't like he ever got good news, and he could take his medication himself, so personally, Kazuki didn't see the point in going to those pointless appointments.

Soushi got up with minor difficulties and stared down at Kazuki. "Come to Alvis when you're done here."

"You won't force me to come along?"

"No... What reason do I have?" Soushi then walked away. Leaving Kazuki alone.

Kazuki watched him go then placed his attention on the blue sky. He could say anything to the sky, even profess his love for it and no one would find it weird.

Night had fallen when Soushi got a call from both Chizuru and Fumihiko about not seeing Kazuki, and soon after he even got a call from Maya. it would be no exaggeration to say it worried him.

Soushi left his room, tossed his glasses aside and headed out of ALVIS. Soushi was pretty sure he knew where he could find Kazuki.

The path to the beach felt longer than usual, but Soushi was rewarded for his efforts as he saw Kazuki floating in the ocean. His first thought was panicked, but he noticed him reach his hand up and let out a sigh of relief.

Soushi approached the shore and called out to him. "Kazuki!"

He couldn't see his face, but Kazuki smiled. "You came looking for me again!?" There was a hint of laughter in Kazuki's tone. Soushi didn't find anything about their situation funny. Did Kazuki just enjoy making him worry?

"Everyone is worried about you." He didn't mention that he himself almost had a panic attack from learning of his absence. It wasn't important, Kazuki barely wanted to see him, he doubted he cared about how worried he was.

Kazuki started to return, and when he finally made it to Shore, Soushi noticed that Kazuki only wore his pants. "What about you? Soushi," Kazuki asked, taking Soushi by surprise.

Soushi blinked, stared at him in silence then made a troubled face. Maybe he was wrong. Soushi looked away. He shouldn't have difficulty saying this type of thing. "Of course," He responded. Kazuki laughed again.

Soushi wanted to question his behavior, but Kazuki didn't let him as he threw his arms around his neck and rested his face in his shoulder. "I'm cold Soushi."

Soushi pried him off and glared at his friend whom only stared back at him with an almost forlorn smile on his face. Soushi sighed and removed his ALVIS jacket and handed it to Kazuki. "You're gonna get sick."

"Thank you..." Kazuki said as he put the jacket on.

Soushi grabbed Kazuki's hand and started pulling him away from the beach. "ALVIS is closer than your house so I'm taking you to my room, and I won't take no for an answer."

"Always so bossy."

Kazuki was silent the rest of the way, he only spoke when Soushi looked back and asked him, "Did I... did I do something wrong?"

"Eh?"

"Nevermind."

They walked into Soushi's room and he immediately stared straight at Kazuki and said, "Now take those wet clothes off." He didn't want Kazuki getting sick. He already had enough to deal with, he didn't need a cold.

Kazuki blushed for reasons unknown to Soushi, and covered himself up. "...In front of you?" He looked nervous, which in turn, made Soushi feel nervous himself, so he went to his closet and grabbed some clothes then threw it on his bed.

"If being naked around me makes you uncomfortable change in the bathroom... and shower first." Soushi stared at Kazuki for awhile, he looked to be contemplating his options, but eventually grabbed the clothes and walked into the bathroom.

Soushi sighed and decided to change clothes himself.

By the time Kazuki came back out, Soushi had dimmed the lights and was lying on his bed reading something on his tablet with his glasses on. He rolled over to look at Kazuki and noticed the water dripping from his hair and frowned.

"Did you even try to dry it?" Soushi asked. He sat up and put his tablet down. Kazuki talked about him being bad at selfcare, but Soushi swore he could not trust Kazuki alone or he was gonna end up making himself bed ridden.

"No," Kazuki answered. He was looking down at the ground, why exactly Soushi didn't know.

"Get the blow dryer, I'll dry it."

"You don't have to-"

"Get the blow dryer," Soushi said sternly, leaving no room for argument. Kazuki complied and walked back into the bathroom. Soushi was annoyed with his attitude. He didn't know what he did to cause this, but he wouldn't let Kazuki ruin his health because of it.

Kazuki returned with the blow dryer and handed it to him. Soushi patted the spot on the bed in front of him then went to plug it up, when he lifted back up Kazuki was sitting. Soushi smiled. At least his rebellious streak seemed to be over.

He turned on the blow dryer and started drying Kazuki's hair, he grabbed his comb and combed through the dry parts. Kazuki was quiet, scarily so. Soushi couldn't stop the constant thought of 'what did I do wrong' going through his head.

"I'm sorry," Kazuki suddenly said, causing Soushi to pause briefly before quickly returning to drying his hair.

"For what? it isn't like you giving me the silent treatment and running away is a rare thing," Soushi said jokingly. In reality though he didn't want an apology, only Kazuki's reason for acting the way he was.

"Th- that was once!" Kazuki defended looking back at Soushi when the comb was out of his hair with a pout on his face. Soushi found him almost cute with the expression.

Soushi chuckled lightly, then his expression went serious. "Kazuki, if I did something wrong, tell me. Things like, expecting the other to understand their feelings without saying anything is what was always our problem, remember?" Kazuki looked away and Soushi resumed drying his hair, and didn't speak until he was done, in which he brought his arms around Kazuki's neck and hugged him. "Be honest with me Kazuki."

Soushi heard Kazuki inhale sharply. Kazuki closed his eyes then brought his hand over Soushi's and left it there. "I just, want to stay by your side." Kazuki clenched Soushi's hand, whom looked confused, but didn't move.

"Your actions are a bit... contradicting."

Kazuki leaned further into Soushi's embrace. "I know... I'm sorry."

Soushi smiled softly. "You have to stay with your awkward friend all night tonight okay? its your punishment for avoiding me, and neglecting your health."

"Oh what a cruel tyrant you are," Kazuki joked.

Kazuki didn't say that he enjoyed his punishment, that being able to share a bed with Soushi was like a dream, and he didn't mention the soft kiss he placed on Soushi's lips when he thought he was alseep.

Soushi didn't mention the next morning that he was aware of Kazuki's actions, or that he didn't mind it. He only thought to himself, maybe, he too should try going to the beach alone, to clear his thoughts.

And when Kazuki found him on the beach alone one day. Soushi only said that he enjoyed the scenery


End file.
